i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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