he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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