did you get engaged???
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
