i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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