is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
