Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Randomize
