It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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