Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
