Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
