I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
