I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
