im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
