Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
