Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
