Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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