i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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