when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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