shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize