guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize