i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
