You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
