there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
