At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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