I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
