She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
