So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
