it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Randomize
