She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
