You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
