grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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