I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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