I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
