Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
