I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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