I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
