It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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