i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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