I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
