Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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