it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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