watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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