Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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