I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
