fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
she pinky promised me she was 18
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize