There is no way he is gay with that hair.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
