Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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