I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
