So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
