he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
