apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
So much Jack, so little girl.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
