waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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