I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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