Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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