Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
either way he was missing a nipple.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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