I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize