Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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