Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
