Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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