ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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