I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
